The Persnickety Dater

A couple weeks ago I went on a date that, as far as first dates go  was positively top drawer.

A date, that at the very least, temporarily restored my faith... but still left ample room for some classic unabridged cynicism!

This date showcased all the hallmarks of a well suited match, yet this didn't stop me from recoiling back from my plate full of brunch the next morning when a friend observed that she had a "good feeling about this."

"pffffft...gimme a f &*king break" was my mouth-full-of-home fries response to that thought.

Even though I had just been regaling the table with how I spent the previous evening with a very cute, apparently smart,  and almost suspiciously polite boy (hell I might have even called him a man,)
my friends' positive reactions still seemed worthy of my immediate dismissal?

I  then ended the play-by-play of the date by concluding that: "I guess it's only downhill from here?" Then feigned confusion by the synchronized eye roll from entire table.

My mother's biggest fear is that I am "too picky" when picking my men. She clutches to this theory because the only other plausible explanation for a single  26 year old daughter is lesbianism, and she isn't ready to face that yet.

Funnily enough though, I do remember one point on this particular date where I  was nodding my head enthusiastically on queue with the conversation going on, yet  internally I was thinking:

"I am sooo not picky... look at me go! I am totally willing to entertain the idea of maybe going out with this guy again. My mom is crazy!!!"


This guy was interesting, he was flattering, he flat out refused my money when the bill came, the took me out to a great bar with an awesome DJ, introduced me to his friends who just happened to be one of my favourite rappers (for a detailed reenactment of my realization of who this friend actually was, please contact me directly!) when the evening came to a close he walked me out,  hailed me a cab, opened the car door for me and gave me a delightfully juicy kiss as we both agreed that we had had a really good time and should do it again.

And I sailed off into the night, patting myself on the back for not being "picky?"

Turns out my paranoid suspicions of his politeness might have been coming from the intuitive rather than crazy side of my brain as, after a few "confirming desire to see me again texts," this boy has disappeared into thin air. This is not to say his manners at the time were not coming from a completely genuine place. My decision that he is rude is mostly based on my own bruised ego.

I  have done my personal best at not letting the classic girl-who-doesn't-get-a-second date syndrome kick in. Including; finally nailing down a definite date with another boy with whom I had been planning to have drinks with but had been constantly rescheduling with or last minute canceling on with for weeks.

This man was a lovely creative artist type:  cute in that nice and shy kind of way, had the most genuine and contagious laugh,was a great conversationalist, showed me his impressive artwork, shared my blind devotion to Kanye... really, a "whole package" sort of dude. 

PLUS this guy is interested.

This guy has followed up with me several times. This guy already wants to know when I am free next. This guy has done thoughtful things like send me web links to things we discussed while we were out together.

So what is wrong with me that I don't feel like this date was as promising as the last?

Is my mom right?

Can I only be interested in someone if every minute detail of them is completely in sync with my ideal?

Am I picky?

Or am I exhibiting the classic symptoms of an age old stubborn flaw in my personality in which I confuse a man's interest with desperation, which then leads to my imagined but certain loss of all independence, which then leads to my complete loss of interest?
Or is it as simple as chalking it up to "chemistry" and the lack thereof?

I will go out with this boy again and not just for the simple and childish pleasure of proving my mother wrong.

I want to go out with him again because, while this wasn't a date that I would deem of "dream date calibre,"
I cannot discount that I found myself wholeheartedly,  shoulder shaking, slapping my knee laughing with this person and anyone who can make me do that, might even have it in them to make this picky girl happy.